Beef:
A more accurate description would have been "wet cardboard". In fact, I would much rather eat wet cardboard, as not only would it taste better, but its nutritional value would likely have been much higher. You could probably put a dozen clowns in a room with a pile of mattresses, and they'd likely be able to come up with something more convincing.
The beef was VERY dry. It was tasteless. It was quite obvious that beef was a minor component, with bread crumbs and I'm guessing some sort of desiccant being the main ingredients in the pattie.
Cheese:
I love cheese. I'm harsh when it comes to cheese.
THERE WAS NO CHEESE! Burger? This wasn't a burger? It was a meatloaf with egg and lettuce between bread! Someone call those clowns. If there's any of that pile of mattresses left over, please....
Bun:
Bland, dry. It did perform it's main function though: holding everything in. But without cheese or any type of sauce, it's job was damn easy.
Extras:
"Caramelised" onions. Egg. Lettuce. Lack of effort.
The only 4 extras that came with this burger. The onions probably met the grill, said "what's up" and left. They were raw. The egg on the other hand, stuck around with the grill a bit longer.
The lettuce, was wilted as as soft as myself whilst trying to choke down this abomination.
And, the lack of effort? Well that speaks for itself.
Fries:
The fries were fairly average. Dry (yet still oily), bland yes overly salted. How they managed that, I have no idea.
Verdict:
You are probably better off dusting off the yellow pages, opening it to "Clown" and hiring a handful of jolly (albeit creepy) entertainers and asking them to fashion a burger out of the aforementioned, althoughcomfortable ingredient. At least it would be entertaining.
Avoid, at all costs. Even if you're starving to death.
Meat
0.5/5
Cheese
0/5
Bun
2/5
Extras
1/5
Fries
1.5/5
Total:
1
(Mattress time)